Syphilis - Who Knew It Could Be This Funny?

 

I saw this ad a few weeks ago while taking a train into the city. I was struck by the character's resemblance to Kobe Bryant. The more I thought about it, the more hilarious (and to a certain degree sad) this became. Evidently you will be glad that he got tested because he is going to rape you. Let's be honest, those eyes aren't looking at you, the CTA rider, in a very wholesome manner.

Keeping with the syphilis theme, I also just read in the Tribune about an ad which is getting rejected by a lot of local television stations also encouraging people (specifically gay men) to get tested for syphilis. Please, please go and watch the ad on their website - its one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I haven't checked out their comic book that they also have on the site, but I'm guessing its equally as funny - enjoy.

http://www.stopthesores.org/

Confessions (Part Three) - The Remix

Guys, I admit it. During our 2000 IM Championship soccer season, I was injecting human growth hormone into my stomach and applying an undetectable steroid creme as well. I tasted the drug that was winning my senior year of high school and couldn't look back - I had to have it again. I saw those Fiji guys and wanted to beat them so badly that I asked my trainer for help to get to that next level - ultimately, however, I did it because I wanted to help the team.

I apologize to all of my fans that I have let down and just wanted to warn you that Victor Conte may be naming me in the 20/20 expose this evening or tomorrow, whenever it is airing. I'm sure it will not come as a shock to you as I certainly have slimmed down, especially in the chest and shoulder are, over the past few years. In addition, the moments of uncontrollable rage some of you experienced which led to the Hostyle nickname were not the result of alcohol as many of you believed - rather, they were attacks of what is commonly referred to as "Roid Rage", a side effect of the withdrawal I was going through. My conscience just would not allow me to continue consuming the drug - that and the feds were on my trail, which leads me to my second confession.

In an attempt to deflect controversy from myself and in the face of a possible raid by FDA and ATF officials, I hid my steroid creme in the lotion bottle Stevie JJ alternates between his nightstand and desk (next to the computer with the porn on it). I have never told Steve about this, but hope that he has not suffered any adverse effects by using the steroid creme to masturbate with. So, Steve, I apologize to you and hope that, like the fact that I've seen you naked entirely too many times, this will not come between us.

Interpretation Help?

Ok, you english/poetry buffs out there - I need some help.

I've been listening to this new Chris Thile record a lot the past couple weeks. He's the mandolin player in this group, Nickel Creek, who borders on bluegrass music, but definitely has a pop vibe as well. The album is quite a departure from their sound, and to be honest, it would be very hard for me to make an across the board recommendation of it.

That being said, I've enjoyed it tremendously. There's one track on the record that has been catching my ear in particular - especially the lyrics. I'm not one to focus on them too often (except if we're talking about rap lyrics I need to memorize in case I ever spend any amount of time on the dance floor again), but these have been bugging me, and to be honest, I'm not real sure what point he's trying to make with them.

I often have trouble trying to find a balance between my faith and the role it holds in my life and my disdain for the in-your-face tactics of any of the super-religious people I seem to be bombarded by from one direction or another. I can tell in some way Thile is trying to address that issue here, but can't quite wrap my fingers around it. Your interpretations or assistance are greatly appreciated.

Everybody have a happy Thanksgiving and enjoy the time you get to spend with your families. I'm off to see mine in Ft. Wayne, but may check in mid-research day on Friday - I've got two big papers due in a couple weeks and pretty much need to kick ass on them so I can hopefully get accepted in to my program after my less than stellar performance on the GRE.

Here are the lyrics. Song's called "The Believer" - off of Chris Thile's "Deceiver" on Sugar Hill Records.

You can point and laugh
I'm sure he's used to that
Using faith like an acrobat 'til the net breaks
He won't get upset
That though we've never met

I know everything he's said 'cause a friend once told me:
He's got hellfire in his eyes
There is madness behind the lies
He would burn us all alive just to prove his point

God save the believer we mistake for a deceiver
'cause it makes us feel better.

The time has come and gone
To say what's right and wrong
People like him don't belong 'cause we're all OK
You'd better write him off
without a second thought
Thinking just leads to getting caught in the traps he sets, like:

Who is that on his knees?
It's that daring young man from the flying trapeze
Crying "Father, Father, help me please"
Well good luck, pal, you're gonna need it

Long time, no type

A Larry King's People's News and Views type of post to get me back in the game. Mufu, you know what I'm talking about.

I did not step foot in a bar this weekend - I'm feeling pretty good about this fact and my wallet certainly is, too.

Ron Artest did not deserve to be suspended for the rest of the season (but in the words of Chris Rock, I understand). Ben Wallace, despite my friend Bryan's contentions, did not deserve to be suspsended for more than six games. The city of Detroit, however, deserves to be suspended as a city for at least a season.

I don't know if I've gotten stupider since high school, or I'm too distracted these days, but I just got my GRE scores back and I feel like an idiot - its almost like Chem 102 all over again. Maybe the fact that I spent no time preparing for it has a little something to do with it.

I watched SNL a little bit while listening to the 'Cats game on Saturday night. Luke Wilson is funny, The Falconer is an unbelievably funny skit every time, and the second song U2 played sucked. I'll check the rest of the record out this afternoon, but hopefully it was not an indication of the non-single tracks on the album.

I haven't listened to Bright Eyes much, but Rinaker, one of my lone Omaha experts, tends to bag on him a lot. He's putting out two records this spring, one of which will be quiet, introspective, and sing-alongy. He'll tour in support of it. Then, a little later, he's evidently putting out another record which will evidently be a lot more rockin'. He will also tour behind this one; his supporting band on the tour: The Faint. After I check out the U2 record, I'm going to look into finding some Bright Eyes online - hopefully I'll like it because I guaran-damn-tee you I won't miss this opportunity to see The Faint play live again - even if it is as a backing band.

Along with the help of Mr. Rincon, I'd like to solicit any help in the snowboard accessory purchasing dept any of you may be able to offer. I need to get some bindings and boots, yet know nothing about the sport or its equipment. I need to learn how to ride so I can show everyone up out in Vermont this spring. Tischler, what's the word on your ski trip?

Anybody want to go to Nashville for New Year's Eve if the 'Cats win at Hawaii on Saturday?

Check out Swarthy's site - he's a lot more prolific and creative than I've been: http://swarthy.blogspot.com/

Lunch hour is over, but let's be honest, I'll probably be able to contribute more a little later this afternoon.

We interrupt this work day...

To bring you the greatest news I've heard in years. Let's hope it comes true...

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-0411050277nov05,1,7819445.story?coll=chi-news-hed

Vote or Die!

According to our good friend Sean "P Diddy" Combs, tonight is the last night of my life. I unfortunately forgot to send in my absentee ballot, therefore negating my opportunity to vote in this fall's election. It's been nice knowing everyone. I go off to class now thankful that the state I am registered to vote in (Indiana) is a lock in the only two races I knew anything about (federal) and the state I live in (Illinois) is the same way. Hopefully I don't wake up to some shock tomorrow where my one vote would have made the difference. I guess since I'll be dead, it won't be that big of a deal.

Please, please start watching South Park. If you're missing it, you're missing out on tremendous social commentary right now, including an episode last week which mocked Diddy's "Vote or Die" campaign to the fullest. I won't ruin the song, but ask Rinaker to sing it for you. He just left me a great rendition on my voicemail.

Stella (not the yuppie beer)

If you're in or near Chicago, there is no reason you should miss this. I'll probably even be missing class for it if possible. Let me know if you want to go at all and I'll pick up some tickets on campus one day.

On Tuesday, November 9, A&O proudly presents:
The Stella Comedy Show featuring Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter, and David Wain from Wet Hot American Summer and MTV's The State!

www.stellacomedy.com

Tuesday, November 9Ryan Family Auditorium (Tech)$5 student tickets available at Norris starting 11/2!
funded by the SAF
Michael Ian Black was a regular on NBC's "Ed" and all three were featured on VH1's "I Love the 70's, 80's, & 90's"

Pictures

I've posted a handful of pictures I received from this weekend's homecoming festivities. Gracias to Abby for sending them my way. The rest of you bastards who have digital cameras and utilized them this weekend feel free to forward some more pictures my way. I'm hoping to score a digital camera as part of the christmas loot, but we'll see - until then, I rely on you, my trigger-happy picture taking friends. Send them to ahostyletakeover@gmail.com and if they're good and entertaining, I'll post them here. If they're sentimental, I'll probably print them and frame them or something. If they're sexually explicit, I'll probably laugh at first, then be a bit concerned - unless they're coming from Juh, in which case they'll be expected.

What kind of caption is necessary here? Hands down the funniest shit I saw all weekend and some very timely comic relief. 

Now that Mufu's homosexuality (and affinity for the Republican party) is known by all Chicago-land (way to go, Rinaker), Abby has focused her pursuits elsewhere. Rinaker, you owe me a taco.

This is one sick train trying to be ran here, and it looks like Kim got kicked off for Abby. Evil Tischler! 

Lt. Dangle stops by to figure out what the little boy from Temple of Doom (Dr. Jones!) is doing trying to spit game to the two girls from just outside Evansville with me as his wingman.  

Launch: November 8

I went ahead and set this bastard up today, but its not going to launch until next Monday. There's just too much going on this week with school, the GRE, and of course, Stevie JJ coming into town again this weekend.

Don't expect too much to start with, but eventually, you can of course expect to be blown away as I'll provide you with day after day of entertaining musings, links, suggestions, appeals, etc as I work on yet another way to interact with my adoring fans (aka friends) across the country. I guess I've finally recovered from the haze that was this weekend and realized that I need to be in much more consistent contact with some of you than I have been and I figure this method is worth a shot. If nothing else, we can all explore ideas for the very hippie-esque, yet extremely awesome sounding compound proposed this weekend where we can all live together and god forbid, raise our offspring.

Just as in how I live my life, this thing will always be open to suggestions from you all. Keep in mind however that I reserve the right to blow them off - and of course accept them as well. Bring on the jokes about me and my internet usage...